Last year I started this program for “Healing Mental Health” and fundraised through GoFundMe. I was able to go to South Africa, participate in ceremonies and interview other traditional healers on the topic of “mental illness” from indigenous and spiritual perspectives. I came back to the U.S. feeling rejuvenated and energized to fulfill my mission of healing services for survivors with lived experiences of altered states and spiritual crisis. I opened up an application process for the scholarship program and I’m happy to announce our first 2 participants!!! I’ve been working with these beautiful ladies for a few weeks now and I’m so excited and honored to be apart of their transformations. Stay tuned for updates on their personal healing journey’s and please donate so that we can be of service to more who desire and need this work.

MEET OUR FIRST TWO RECIPIENTS OF OUR SCHOLARSHIP 2017

WENDY, NEW ZEALAND

My name is Wendy, I am 57 years old and live in New Zealand. I am married to a very lovely man (2nd marriage) and have 2 adult sons and am a grandmother.

I was one of 7 children, both parents were alcoholics but though they had their issues I believe they tried their best. My mother talked to herself and had many demons, I felt unloved by her my whole life. My father was a hard man but I felt he loved his children though he wasn’t good at it…. he was prone to aggression and we would be hit for giggling, hit for crying because we were hit, hit for showing anger…I learned very early in life to put a smile on my face and just be nice, be unseen and unheard. I was very sensitive and anxious as a kid, I also saw things that weren’t there, had precognitive dreams and premonitions. I had many experiences I never could understand and felt isolated by. I was a young single Mum of two at 17 and at 18 I was raped by a man who came into my home that I didn’t know. A few months later I had my first breakdown though didn’t realise at the time what was happening and had no treatment for it.

Several years later I met and married my first husband, he was 12 years older than me. 5 years later at 26 I had my second breakdown. By this time I was raising 4 other children as well as my own two….my husband was also a drinker and I underwent 3 ops for cervical cancer. I was hospitalised for my own safety, put on antidepressants and returned to work shortly after feeling I had recovered. I hadn’t, all I had done was stuck a smile on my face as always, was “nice” and “good”.

At 36 I thought I was very well, I started painting as a hobby and joined a psychic circle to learn more about my experiences. My husband went away for a weekend and I spent that time doing a painting, the most relaxed and soulful time I had ever spent. On his return he rubbished what I had done and for the first time ever I couldn’t control my rage, I picked up my painting and threw it, I ruined it. Something snapped in me that day and I couldn’t control my anger after that. The following week I went to my psychic group and felt something followed me home - there was a dark presence around me. In the weeks that followed I became undone, I started seeing people, hearing voices, believing weird stuff and feeling awful sensations in my head. I was taken to ER and committed to a psychiatric ward where I was told they would look at giving me electric shock treatment if I didn’t respond to meds. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, put on 13 pills a day including antipsychotics and I put a smile on my face and pretended I was fine to go home. The meds though were hideous and the following year was the worst year of my life. I ended up telling psyche workers to “F… off and take your bloody pills with you”. I went off the meds then and only pride prevented me from ringing and asking for help. I was so unwell! I didn’t feel understood by health professionals, didn’t feel helped by them and didn’t believe a label or diagnosis by a man I only talked to for 30 minutes was good enough, didn’t feel being told I would have this for life and should learn to live with it was ok either. I didn’t feel understood by family though that was pretty understandable, I was crazy. This was 21 years ago and after many years of going around in circles I have found much written that has helped in healing myself to a functioning level of wellness. I just spent 7 years working as a peer support worker in mental health. BUT, I still have periods of unwellness when I am very stressed, though nowhere near the same level as before. I understand what happened looking backwards though there is much I still don’t understand. I have met many people through my work who have watched struggle in the same way and though I could empathise, I could not help other than recognising and relating to where they were at. It broke my heart to see that medication is still the most common form of treatment and wounded people are still just judged and treated like no-hopers who could never recover. Surely there should be better than this now!?

I am hoping to find new ways of learning, understanding and healing for myself so I may in turn be able to understand it for others and help in their journeys. I thank Gogo Ekhaya for this opportunity.

MONIQUE, SAN DIEGO C.A.

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